Analysis: In 2011, just over 1,500,000 people ran marathons throughout the world. 0% of those people looked attractive while doing so. This year, “Ridiculously Photogenic Guy” Zeddie Little became the first human ever to look remotely appealing while running 26.2 miles. What does this mean for OKCupid users? Don’t post a picture of yourself mid-marathon.
I know, I know. “But how will people know that I really ran a marathon?” They’ll know because you mention it a dozen times in your profile, you braggart, just like they know you’re six feet tall when you say you are, because everything people say in their online dating profiles is invariably true.
[Ed: Despite their use of sweatshops and shoes that rarely fit people with wide feet, Nike made the most romantic commercial for shoes ever, in which the female lead looks like a million bucks and change. Just saying.]